Being Single And All the Lies You Need to Stop Believing

Being single, especially in your late 20s and 30s, can give you a lot of mixed emotions. One moment you are grateful for your “independence”; the next, you are wishful about being in a romantic tale with someone. Sometimes it can be lonely and even frustrating.

For those who have been in this season for quite a long time, it is tempting to believe negative things about yourself. And these are the lies from satan, so that you will lose sight of the beautiful season that you are in at this moment.

Here are just some of them that you need to stop believing.

I am being left behind.

Seeing your friends settling down may feel like God is taking you for granted and destiny is leaving you behind. It is easy to feel this way when you think that all of life is marrying and having kids alone. There is more to life than having a love life. And you can still love life even without a love life. You are a beautiful woman with a divine capacity to live in such a way that is meaningful and purposeful. Think of ways on how you can enrich your life by sharing your talents. Volunteer in an organization whose causes align with yours. Start creating something you think can add value to others. You can also unlock a skill to improve yourself.

Remember also that life is not a race. If marriage is one of your goals, and it is not happening just yet, just be happy with those who have already attained it. It means that yours is already on its way. And you can always move at your own pace while being awesome at being single.

Being single means I am alone.

Okay, maybe physically, you really are alone. But you don’t have to be lonely in this season. And besides, the loving presence of Jesus is with you. That means that emotionally and spiritually, you are not entirely by yourself in navigating this “single” phase of your life. This is the time for you to find pleasure in your own company. There is nothing more empowering when you can be confident eating in a restaurant, going to the church, and waking up and enjoying the silence with the birds chirping outside—all by yourself (and with the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.)

I am not really whole, not until I meet “the one.”

You are not less of a person just because you are not in a relationship with someone. Being single does not mean being in lack. You can be romantically involved with someone and still feel utterly insufficient. The truth is, your wholeness can only be found in Jesus—the Ultimate One who can only fulfill your eternal longings. Unless you give your life to Him and trust Him with your whole heart, you will vainly fill the void in your soul. Even the best man (or woman) can never complete you. There is a reason as to why God said that seeking Him and His righteousness is a must. This is so not only because we will receive blessings—but because His presence in our lives alone is what we need to truly embrace joy in whatever season of life we find ourselves in.

It’s too late to meet my husband (or wife).

Being single in your 30s or even beyond may feel like it is way too late to meet someone for you. You look around and you find people in your circle to be either too young or very much in a relationship or married. But God is the God who knows how to make His beautiful plans fulfilled for you. While the devil may attack you with the spirit of delay, God promises to watch His word until it is carried out. He is not late nor too early. Your promised divine mate will come just in time. And you will be much more grateful when he (or she) comes at the time when you are ready and matured enough to handle the relationship that will truly glorify the Lord.

I’ve screwed too much in the past, so I am not deserving of a godly relationship.

There is no past too dark for God. He can turn water into wine and he can do the same for your story, too. He can turn your life around in such a glorious way that you will know that He is indeed your Savior. You are not defined by your mistakes, and you are capable of making good decision for your future.

These are just some of the lies God wants to shatter in your season of being single. What are other lies you have been holding onto? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

Meanwhile, you can grab my book Diary of Ms. True Love Waits and learn about my story of dealing with singleness, surrendering to Jesus, and being closer to what true love really is. Sign up to my newsletter and download the first chapter for free.