Growing Up Sucks (Or Maybe Not)

Most of us have a familiar scenario we play on our minds—the kind of perfect life we will have when we finish high school, get to college, or have a job. For me, I didn’t really have a clear picture of what my life would really be. All I cared was how to maintain the achiever image I had in my elementary and highschool days—which I will share it’s entirety maybe in another blog entry.

But just to give you a glimpse of it, my life then revolved around trying to fit to people’s expectations of me. I felt that I had to live with some sort of an invisible blueprint.

I hate to admit it but pride and insecurity were the major forces that propelled my life before.

I felt that I couldn’t afford the idea of people losing their confidence in me. I always had to be at the top of my game or else I could be doomed.

I even had a crazy thought that if I couldn’t maintain my being at the top of my class, my parents wouldn’t love me the same way anymore. It was crazy, I know.

So that’s why for me, back then, I couldn’t fail.

But then life has a way to twist my arm and give me lessons the hard way. God sent me out in a boot camp of His discipline right after finishing college.

I had never been so lost in my life. I underwent depressing episodes for like a year or two, and God only knows how I went through it. What, me, a cum laude? Why was I not doing even a tiny bit of a good sense at work? I was a misserable failure. Every. Single. Day. I had to go job hopping because I wasn’t really good at what they had me do.

My self-esteem.
My direction.
My sense of life.

…Went out the window.

And I was darn so helpless I couldn’t even begin to describe what I was actually going through. I was so in the dark.

But fast forward, Jesus came and became my lifesaver.

He literally pulled me out of that pit of despair and gave me my sense of direction. He delivered me from all the pride stuff and insecurities and literally turned my life upside down in a really good way.

Growing up can suck but at the end of the day, here’s whay I realize the moment we learn to surrender our life’s propeller to God as the Captain of our Soul:

When life’s changes make you feel like you are navigating inside a dark tunnel, you are not at the end of your life yet.

You’re just in transition—from childishness to adulthood.

But believe me, growing is amazing. It’s not true that the more you grow old, the sadder life can be. Ang totoo, masaya maging mature. Kasi mas maiintindihan mo ang mga bagay bagay. (truth is, growing up is nice because you are able to then have a good sense of everything).

Being mature means that you are able to overcome—your insercurities, your immature thinking of stuff, your laziness, or whatnot.

Being mature means that you are able to acknowledge the mistakes you have committed in your life, and that you are now willing to take some practical steps to make them right, if possible.

Being mature means that you now have more appreciation to a lot of things. You are now learning to be thankful even for the littliest stuff in your life.

Being mature is seeing your life as a blessing. You now realize that life does not revolve around you and that there is so much to explore about yourself and the world and the people you meet along the way.

Being mature is throwing away your pride and embracing humility.

Being mature is knowing your purpose and doing life with that purpose.

…and if you have not yet experienced all this, dont worry. You’re in the process of becoming.

And it is okay.

Everyone has to go through transitions. But there is life, and it is even more beautiful than you have today. You can embrace the now. You are made to enjoy the “now” and not be anxious about tomorrow. Even if you can’t seem to feel it yet.

Your now is a present.

Growing up may suck but life is still wonderful.